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The importance of resources

Searching to understand, to make sense of their experience or to find help for her spouse is characteristic for most partners. 

As partners, we’re seeking what we seemingly cannot find – safety for our bodies, minds, and souls. After a discovery or disclosure, we often not only feel overwhelmed, we simultaneously need to know that what we are discovering is truth, easily ‘digested’ and something we can put into practice in the dailiness of our lives.

Thus a resource page.

 

Providing an up-to-date resource section on a website is on my never-quite accomplished to do list. In addition to staying informed myself, I solicit recommendations from trusted colleagues. I also listen to end-users – those who’ve found a particular resource – whether that resource is a clinician, therapist, coach, organization, church or ministry.

 

What I’ve discovered along the way is that it takes a community of wounded healers to walk alongside those on the long recovery road of sexual addiction/ brokenness or while moving forward while healing from sexual betrayal. Regardless of their role, a community of wounded healers is always filled with courageous, well-trained, equipped, experienced and compassionate women and men. And, internationally, it includes

  • Hundreds of clinicians, therapists, and coaches

  • Clergy/pastors, lay-leaders

  • Peer support/peer-facilitators

  • Informed family/friends

Ah, the blessings of doing this together with other wounded healers

I hold great respect and deep gratitude for those who invest both financially and with their time not just becoming trained, certified or licensed to serve others as therapists, clinicians, or coaches, but in meeting the ongoing educational requirements in doing so. Feeling confident when referring someone to a trusted colleague brings me relief on a daily basis.

 

I also hold equal respect and gratitude for clergy/pastors and lay-leaders (including small group leaders) who intentionally seek understanding and training to better care for those who need safe places where they can experience authentic recovery or betrayal trauma healing. Sadly, we still way-too-often hear heartbreaking accounts of deep woundings received during conversations with pastors/ministers or other church leaders by either the ones struggling with sexual brokenness or the betrayed partners.

 

As I become informed of churches, ministries or faith-based organizations providing safe communities (in person or virtual) for you to recover or heal, I will list them here AND encourage you to connect with them. Have a report about groups in your church? I'd love to hear your story. You can contact me via email: donna@lifeisahead.com

While those referred/included are known or are recommended by respected colleagues, please understand it is your responsibility to determine if a provider or other resource is appropriate for your needs. They are included to help you move forward in understanding, recovery and healing.

Individual and/or group-led partner coaching (Those designated CPC received certification through APSATS)

For a complete list of therapists/coaches (and locations) with Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model training/certification:  Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS)

RECOMMENDED RESOURCE DISCLAIMER: Please note that by referencing or recommending all or parts of these helping professionals, books, websites, or articles, ADOH does not necessarily agree with, or endorse the resource in its entirety, nor unreservedly recommend their/its use by ADOH Peer Facilitators. 

Books

My own reading journey, feedback from colleagues, as well as those who become part of the ADOH community, help inform what to include on the resource page. We welcome your suggestions too. Email donna@lifeisahead.com

Peer Facilitators

  • 201 Great Questions Jerry D Jones

  • A Grief Observed C.S. Lewis

  • Christian Caregiving (A Way of Life), Kenneth C Haugk

  • Don’t Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart: How to Relate to Those Who Are Suffering Kenneth Haugk

  • Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Pete Scazzero

  • Leading Peer Support and Self-Help Groups (A Complete Book of Questions (1001 Conversation Starts for Any Occasion) Garry Poole

  • Finding the Flow (A Guide for Leading Small Groups and Gatherings) 2nd edition, Tara Miller and Jenn Peppers

  • Healing Spiritual Wounds (Reconnecting with a Loving God After Experiencing A Hurtful Church) Carol Howard Merritt

  • Pocket Resource for Peer Specialists and Support Group Facilitators Charles Drebing, PhD

  • In Our Lives First (Meditations for Counselors) Diane Mandt Langberg, PhD.

  • Leading Peer Support and Self-Help Groups Charles Drebing, PhD.

  • Life Coaching Questions (A Coaching Tool) Phyllis Reardon, MEd

  • Speaking the Truth in Love (How to Be an Assertive Christian) Ruth N Koch & Kenneth C Haugk

  • Walking with God through Pain and Suffering Timothy Keller

  • The Critical Journey (Stages in the Life of Faith) 2nd Edition Janet O Hagberg, Robert A Guelich

  • The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Morgan Cron and Suzzane Stabilie

  • The Wounded Healer, Henri J. M. Nouwen

  • Tips & Tools for the Art of Experiential Group Facilitation, 2nd Edition, Jennifer Stanchfield

  • Trauma + Grace (Theology in a Ruptured World) Serene Jones

Trauma

A significant shift is happening with the Christian community we we continue growing in our understanding of trauma, it's multidimensional impact, and the importance of developing a trauma-informed approach in walking alongside each other. At the same time, on a grass-roots level, those in authentic sexual addiction recovery and betrayed partners active in their healing journey are speaking out and sharing their stories within AND without their church walls. In doing so, we become part of Christ’s ongoing Spirit-breathed kingdom work. 

 

Was Jesus' ministry trauma-informed?

In the first of a three-part series related to a trauma-informed approach to ministry, Chaplain Chris Haughee (ACES Connection) states: "A trauma-informed approach to ministry starts with the realization of the widespread impact of trauma. Certainly, if a church or ministry is not aware or is in denial of the problem posed by adversity in childhood, toxic stress, and the effects of trauma on whose they minister too, it cannot properly address potential paths for recovery and healing.

I believe it can be shown that Jesus was trauma-informed through any and all of these points, but especially this first one. Jesus knew the tremendous brokenness of the world, and he knew the power of the Kingdom of Heaven to address the needs of people traumatized by the evil of this world and the effect of sin. This idea comes forth in the first words we hear spoken by Jesus, and an important teaching which announced the beginning of his formal ministry."

Trauma: A Biblical perspective

The Biblical Perspective Of Trauma Informed Care

Reading the Bible through the lens of trauma

Becoming a trauma-informed faith community

Books

  • Healing from Trauma (A Survivor’s Guide to Understanding Your Symptoms and Reclaiming Your Life) Jasmin Lee Cori, MS, LPC

  • Healing the Wounds of Trauma (How the Church Can Help) Harriet Hill, Margaret Hill, Richard Bagge, Pat Miersma

  • Shattered Soul? (Five Pathways to Healing the Spirit After Abuse & Trauma) Patrick Fleming with Sue-Lauber-Fleming & Vicki Schmidt)

  • Spirit and Trauma: A Theology of Remaining, Shelly Rambo

  • Suffering and the Heart of God (How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores) Dr. Diane Langberg

  • The Body Keeps the Score Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma Bessel van der Kolk MD

  • The Complete Guide to Crisis & Trauma Counseling (What to Do and Say When it Matters Most) Dr. H Norman Wright

  • The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris

  • The Story You Need To Tell Writing to Heal From Trauma, Illness, or Loss Sandra Marinella, MA, MEd

  • Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror Judith Herman

  • Trauma-Sensitive Theology: Thinking Theologically in the Era of Trauma, Jennifer Baldwin 

  • Writing to Heal (A Guided Journal for Recovering from Trauma & Emotional Upheaval, James W Pennebaker, Ph.D.

(Adults)

  • Sexual Addiction/Brokenness

  • Grief/loss

  • Healthy Sexuality

  • Sexual betrayal/healing

  • Relationships

  • 101 Freedom Exercises, Doug Weiss

  • An Affair of the Mind, Laurie Hall

  • Anatomy of the Soul (Surprising connections between neuroscience and spiritual practices that can transform your life and relationships) Curt Thompson, M.D.

  • Ashamed No More, Dr. T.C. Ryan

  • Beyond Betrayal: How God is Healing Women (and couples) from Infidelity, Lisa Taylor

    • Beyond Betrayal Couple’s Guide Lisa Taylor

  • Beyond Boundaries (Learning to Trust Again in Relationships), Dr. John Townsend

  • Blind to Betrayal, Freyd & Birrell

  • Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction & the Healing Power of Jesus, Russell Willingham

  • Boundaries in Marriage, Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

  • Changes That Heal (Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You), Dr. Henry Cloud

    • (Accompanying workbook)

  • Confronting Porn, Paula Hall

  • Created for Connection: The "Hold Me Tight" Guide for Christian Couples, Sue Johnson

  • Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, Brené Brown

  • Facing Heartbreak (Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts), Stefanie Carnes, Maria Lee, Anthony Rodriguez

  • Forgetting Your Past, Bob Gass

  • From Betrayal Trauma to Healing & Joy: A Workbook for Partners of Sex Addicts, Marsha Means

  • Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal: Volume 1: How Disclosure Can Help You Heal, Janice Caudill, Dan Drake

  • A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss, Jerry L. Sittser

  • How to Share the Truth After Sexual Betrayal Dan Drake and Janice Caudill

  • Grace-Based Recovery (A Safe Place to Heal and Grow) Jonathan Daugherty

  • Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook for Sex Addicts to Help their Partners Heal Carol Jurgensen Sheets

  • Healthy Boundaries: Learning to Understand and Keep Boundaries after Betrayal, Dan Drake, Katie Sanford, Julia Alperovich, Eric Anderson 

  • Hiding from Love (How to Change the Withdrawal Patterns hat Isolate and Imprison You) Dr. John Townsend)

  • Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson

  • How We Love Workbook: Making Deeper Connections in Marriage Milan Yerkovich and Kay Yerkovich

  • Keep Walking (40 days to Hope and Freedom after Betrayal) Lynn Marie Cherry

  • Intimacy Anorexia: The Hidden Addiction in Your Marriage Doug Weiss

  • Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal Dr. Sheri Keffer

  • Intimate Treason (Healing the Trauma for Partners Confronting Sex Addiction) Claudia Black, Cara Tripodi 

  • Life After Lust (Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery) Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP

  • Living and Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment, Steven Stosny, PhD.

  • Longing for Intimacy (Hope for Women Struggling with Addiction), Amy Riordan

  • Love Sense, Dr. Sue Johnson

  • Love Talk Starters (275 questions to Get Your Conversations Going), Les & Leslie Parrot

  • Loving People: How to Love and Be Loved, Dr. John Townsend

  • Married and Alone, Doug Weiss

  • Moving Beyond Betrayal (The 5 Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts), Vicki Tidwell Palmer

  • Necessary Endings, Henry Cloud

  • No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction, Marnie Ferree

  • Out of the Shadows (Understanding Sexual Addiction), Patrick Carnes

  • Psalms of Lament, Ann Weems

  • Pure Desire, Ted Roberts and Steve Arterburn

  • Pure Sex: The Spirituality of Desire, Gordon Dalbey

  • Redeemed Sexuality (Healing and Transformation in Community, Andrew A Boa

  • Rescued, A Woman's Guide to Surviving and Thriving After Sexual Betrayal, Shelley Martinkus

  • Sex Addiction 101, Rob Weiss

  • Sexuality (God’s Design and Why it Matters), Dr. Juli Slattery

  • Safe People: How to Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t, Henry, Cloud and John Townsend

  • Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men to Authentic Brotherhood, Nate Larkin 

  • Seven Pillars of Freedom Workbook, Dr. Ted Roberts

  • Sex Addiction: The Partner’s Perspective: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Surviving Sex Addiction and Those Who Want to Help Them, Paula Hall

  • Surfing for God (Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle), Michael John Cusick

  • Sons of the Father, Gordon Dalbey

  • Starting Over (Meditations for Divorced Women), Ellen Sue Stern

  • Stop Sex Addiction: Real Hope, True Freedom for Sex Addicts and Partners, Milton Magness

  • Surviving Disclosure: A Partner’s Guide for Healing the Betrayal of Intimate Trus,  Jennifer P Schneider and Deborah Corley

  • The Best Sex for Life, Patricia Weerakoon

  • The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Bessel van der Kolk M.D.

  • The Couple's Guide to Intimacy: How Sexual Reintegration Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Heal, Bercaw, PsyD, CST, CSAT, Drs. Bill and Ginger

  • The Five Love Languages (How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate), Gary Chapman

  • The Gaslight Effect, Robin Stern

  • The Gift of Sex, Clifford and Joyce Penner

  • The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages that Accompany the Loss of Love, Susan Anderson

  • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide, John Gottman, Jan Silver

  • The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves, Curt Thompson, M.D.

  • To Be Told: Know Your Story, Shape Your Future, Dan B. Allender

  • Treating Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery Dr. Kevin Skinner

  • Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal (The Essential Tools for Healing), Dr. Kevin Skinner

  • Unwanted, How Sexual Brokenness Reveals our Way to Healing, Jay Stringer

  • Unattended Sorrow, Stephen Levine

  • We Survived Infidelity: An Unexpected Life Lesson, Hilarie Barry

  • When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography, After the Shock – Moving from Despair to Healing and Hope, Vickie Tiede

  • Who’s Pushing Your Buttons? Handling the Difficult People in Your Life, Dr. John Townsend

  • When Sorry Isn’t Enough, Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas

  • Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, Peter A. Levine

  • Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain, Dr. William Struthers

  • Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back ,Jason B. Martinkus

  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal, Dr. Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means

Children/Youth

Books

  • Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World Shannon Ethridge and Stephen Arterburn

  • Get Lost: Your Guide to True Love Dannah Gresh

  • Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Kristen A. Jenson and Gail Poyner

  • Growing Up by the Book (ages 10–14) Patricia Weerakoon

  • Teen Sex by the Book (ages 14+) Patricia Weerakoon

  • There’s What on my Phone? (How God’s Good Gifts Beats Porn) Lisa Taylor

  • Who Moved the Goal Post? Bob and Dannah Gresh

Keyboard and Mouse

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©2019  Donna Meredith Dixon 

 

Donna Meredith Dixon, CLC, CPSAS,  APSATS  trained

Board member Christian Sex Addiction Specialists International (C-SASI)